we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
