my room smells like sperm. sweet.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
