pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Can Purell be used as lube?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize