The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
