is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm too high and old for this...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
