ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
