did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
