I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
how drunk are you?
Several
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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