i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
