I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
