I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Randomize
