Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
