And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
this will be a night to untag.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize