i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Pants are for mortals
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
