You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
