I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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