I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize