She went from zero to smokin in five shots
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
