Screwed.edu
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
