so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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