we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
