I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
