The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
