Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
