I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
