You're a womanizer and a bitch.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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