Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
