i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
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