In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
