Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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