My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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