Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
