I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
nutella sex= disaster
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
