Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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