no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize