whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
