We're facebook friends in real life
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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