...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
