How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
