Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
