you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
