Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
