I just made out with a guy for $7.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
