So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we're making bets on your personal life
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
