White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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