Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
