That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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