Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
