I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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