You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize