You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When are your genitals available?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
