He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
