i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
