cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
