Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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