Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize