I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
even my farts smell like vagina
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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