So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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