she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
