I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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