so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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