random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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