I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
