You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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