did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
