But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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