we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
