I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
