Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize