You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
