i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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