Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
