Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize