I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
