Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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